Finally I started to see God giving me these friendships and girls to meet with and talk about life with. I reached out to a woman who used to lead my youthgroup and she met with me and encouraged me. I began to feel more confident and started actually having fun hanging out with girls, where before I just felt selfconcious.
Moving out to Seattle I was afraid to lose what I had finally found. Most of my adult life I'd been yearning for what I was about to leave. The first few months in Seattle I just expected some girls to find me, befriend me, some girls from work to ask me to lunch. It didn't happen.
Joshua was making tons of guy friends at work but I really wanted girlfriends. To grab coffee with, work out with, talk about life with. Then after prayers, tears, and being really scared God gave me some women. Women that asked about my week, asked about my family, asked about my marriage and worries, asked what they could pray for me for.
As Joshua and I have been thinking a lot about friendship this year I am constantly reminded of the amazing women I've been blessed with in my life. Though the struggles I had in college and in moving to Seattle I feel like only lately am I in a place where I could be a really good girlfriend back. I didn't understand how to be that back to anyone so I couldn't accept it from anyone. Being the big sister was what I knew how to do and I knew I could help people or fix things. At this point in my life though I'm so so happy that I have women that don't need my help they'd rather have my company and conversation or eat cupcakes with me.
Whenever they say 1 more drink, or let's schedule next time, or I missed this I know God put these women in my life. Because I'm still not perfect at this girlfriend thing but I know He's trusting me to keep trying and these women are loving me through it.